16 Oct Strive for progress, not perfection. Perfection Sucks

I met with a client this week, and we were reviewing the commitments that he had made during our previous session. On one of his commitments, he sheepishly admitted that he had only kept his commitment about 50% of the time. There seemed to be a sense of guilt and shame as well, because he hadn’t kept his commitment 100% of the time. I congratulated him on his progress, and simply said “Strive for progress, not perfection. Perfection sucks”.

Let me put some context around this comment. When I first engage with a client, one of the three things I request is that when they make a commitment, they keep it. If they choose not to make a commitment, that’s okay, but I believe that committing to ourselves is important. I also believe that exercising the ‘commitment muscle’ is something that improves with time.

Most of us compare ourselves against perfection, not our progress. This is a prescription for failure. When we don’t achieve ‘perfection’, then we tend to get down on ourselves for what we didn’t do. That becomes a cycle of beating ourselves up. When we choose to measure ourselves against our progress, then we can actually see how we’re getting better.

Here are some things to remember when you make progress, but things didn’t quite work out as planned:

• You can’t change the past, so take responsibility for your actions and move on. Guilt and shame serve no valuable purpose. There is another opportunity to try again.
• Take time to celebrate even the smallest of victories. Three steps forward and two steps back is still forward.
• Evaluate why things didn’t work out as planned. Is there something different you can try the next time you commit?

Now, why do I say that perfection sucks? To me, perfection is relative. It’s an expectation that somebody made up. A ‘perfect’ body, or a ‘perfect’ somersault is just somebody’s opinion. Also, if you were to reach perfection, then what? Do you just stop because you reached perfection? Perfection sounds boring.

The joy is in the journey, the progress. There really is no destination, and if there is, then what?